So, you’re considering visiting Serbia. Good for you! Even better for your stomach! What should you expect?
You will experience the hospitality of someone’s baba and indulge in the unique and absolutely mouth-watering taste of sarma, burek and ćevapi. However, there are a few things to beware whilst in Serbia. Such as the notorious promaja, the doom at the bottom of a coffee cup, and the post-kafana oblivion.
This super-short, lighthearted guide is here to help you avoid the typical tourist mistakes you might make while visiting Serbia. And remember – mistakes will probably still be made BUT you will gain many friends along the way. And a few pounds! This we can guarantee!
Mistake #1: Underestimating the power of PROMAJA
Promaja a.k.a. wind paranoia is a Serbian mother’s worst enemy.
Every adult female in Serbia firmly believes that if you stand in a cross breeze you will catch the flu and, as sure as daylight, DIE. Don’t even try to reason with them for this belief is deep-rooted. The infamous promaja is believed to be killing people in the Balkans since 1912.
So, consider yourself warned. Serbians WILL NOT take kindly to you opening windows.
Mistake #2: Saying anything slightly negative about NOVAK ĐOKOVIĆ
WARNING: This is a cardinal sin.
If you commit it, you will be crucified. Well, okay, not crucified, but it will be considered an act of treason. For, you see, Novak Đoković is, in the eyes of the Serbian people, the second most important entity after God.
So, keep out of trouble and simply agree that Novak is the best tennis player that has ever graced the grounds of tennis courts across the globe.
This point is nonnegotiable.
Mistake #3: Breaking BABA’S RULES
The rules of Serbian grandmothers are as plain as day. And there are three of them:
Shoes on the stoop.
Take the house slippers.
Eat what you’ve been offered.
Explanations are in order, of course. And first thing’s first. Outside some Serbian homes, mostly those belonging to the elderly, shoes are cluttered right outside the front door. Yours must too become a part of the shoe shrine.
Secondly, a thing to expect upon entrance of the house is being offered a pair of house slippers. Better take up the offer or it will be repeated. Every 3 minutes!
The third, and by far most important, point is to eat when offered. It is a concrete fact that a Serbian grandmother will offer you food. Every time. At some point you will hear “Just have a sarma/punjena paprika or baklave/vanilice”.
ACCEPT THE OFFER(ING).
EAT.
The baba does not understand the words “I’m not hungry”.
Mistake #4: Drinking the last sip of DOMAĆA KAFA
Love the taste of dirt in your mouth?
No?
We didn’t think so! So, if you want to avoid tasting the grainy-bitter mouthful of SOC or TROP, as the coffee drudge from domestic coffee is called in Serbia, skip the last sip.
You can, however, save it for something else!
Remember Sybill Trelawney discussing the Grim with Harry Potter? Yeah, Serbs do that to. Some do like to think they can read fortunes from the residue left at the bottom of their coffee cup, usually in more rural parts of the country.
Another interesting fact is the way Serbs make their coffee. Serbs keep it real when brewing coffee. No milk, no sugar, no additional flavours. That’s how you make a proper GROMOVAČA (or thunder coffee, roughly translated).
On that note, gromovača can refer to the Serbian equivalent of the English moonshine. Which brings us to our next point.
Mistake #5: Drinking too much RAKIJA
Rakija, pronounced RAH-kee-yah, and always followed with the word ŽIVELI!, is a national Serbian drink and the No.1 cause of blackouts in kafana. It is a kind of fruit brandy that comes in a variety of flavours (and aftermaths).
So, it’s up to you to pick your poison:
Šljivovica or plum brandy – “The Classic”
Kajsijevača or apricot brandy
Dunja or quince brandy
Medovača or honey brandy
But beware, three or more shots of Serbia’s favourite moonshine and you’ll find yourself dancing on the table, singing Ceca’s “Moje suze padaju na gore”. The up side: You’ll leave the kafana with at least three best men/maids of honour for your wedding.
The cure: BUREK!
Mistake #6: Not eating his majesty the BUREK
Burek is the most famous breakfast dish in Serbia. It is a Serbian pastry consisting of layers of dough with minced meat, cheese or vegetables. It can also be found without stuffing. Equally delicious, nonetheless.
Some burek tips:
Order with yoghurt. Killer combo!
Eat while it’s still warm. Warms the heart and soul.
The greasier – the better!
You’re welcome!
That’s about it. For now. We hope we’ll see you in Serbia soon!
Author: Maša Maksimović
